Dealing with Difficult Stakeholders

This week I'm in Prague leading a 'Managing Successful Programmes' (MSP) course. One of the questions that has come up is a particularly interesting one:

'How do you practically deal with difficult stakeholders whom you need to win over?'

I thought it might be useful to some if I shared here some basic responses.

Of course, the MSP framework is agnostic on this as it is on many other specific matters, but it made me reflect that one of the vital competences of effective stakeholder management is winning influencing and negotiation skills.

 

Whole books and management courses have been written on this subject, but can a Programme Manager take some simple, practical steps to make any kind of headway with these difficult individuals?

 

Here are some steps, largely gleaned from Stephen Covey's "7 Habits of Highly Effective People" and Roger Fisher, et al, "Getting to Yes":

1. Seek first to understand. Probably the most important thing you can do is to earn the right to be heard by them bylistening to them first. Listen to their heart as well as their head. In doing this you are giving them the dignity of being treated like a human being and not just a block or an obstacle, or not even someone who has to be humoured or to whom you need to pander.

 

2. Reflect back that you understand them. Re-playing, as accurately as you can their position, showing that you can empathise with their pain or sense of threat as well as their rational argument is usually far more effective that the  "Yes, but" sort of response we all usually fall into. This often takes the sting immediately out of the dialogue. It may not be vocalised, but the other party is thinking, "Ah! So you do understand where I'm coming from!"
3. Then be understood. "Thank you for helping me understand your position. Let me make mine clear and I think we might find we are not so far apart."  This flags that you are not about to be a doormat and be walked all over. You have a position and you need to that clear. Part of being understood by the other party is to have clarity in your own mind what are the non-negotiable principles of your own position.
4. Seek 'Win-win' or 'No deal'. Find our their 'WIIFM' ('What's in it for me?'). What benefits could there be in your programme for that stakeholder. What are the 'wins' for them. This is a deeper, and more personal level of  stakeholder analysis that is particularly warranted for the difficult individual.
   You need to be clear about what your fall-back position will be if you can't get agreement - your BATNA ('Best Alternative to a Negotiated Agreement'). In a programme environment this could mean some radical re-scoping of the programme to exclude the need for co-operation from  his stakeholder or even in the most extreme cases recommending that the programme is stopped altogether.
   Remember that this is the best alternative, and not a spurious alternative: that would be pretentious brinksmanship and the other party might call your bluff.
   Often reviewing the scope of the programme together with the stakeholder gives you both a chance to optimise the benefits and reduce the perceived disbenefits the difficult stakeholder. However, remember that a benefit for you might well be a disbenefit to the other party and vice versa.
5. Make the 'Ask'. Often influencing fails because we don't summon up the courage to make the request (the 'Ask') of the other party when we have the opportunity. I find sales people understand this. Often we can make the 'Ask' of the other party in a way acknowledging that it would be costly in some way for them, but thereby implying that they would be courageous to do it. Simply making the request in that way can seem like praise.
6. Take the risk. Not enough is discussed in business literature about the need for sheer courage. Let the challenge of meeting with this difficult      stakeholder and wrestling with them become part of your mutual programme 'story' that can be shared with them and other at the right moments.
   If you can't get agreement, be prepared to take the BATNA. This also can be courageous, because it is honest and less desirable than the negotiated agreement.

Comments

[richard butler]

Great post about this topic.. I am also a teacher on project management and I personally can relate with this topic how to manage stakeholders. Thanks B-)